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Let's get a bit sentimental

 

Something has been stirring in both my book fiction life and personal life that got me thinking? I damn wish my life was like the ones in the books.

Guys, I’m getting emotional. Soo much has been going on recently that I’m unable to actually gather my thoughts hence why this blog was made. It’s a bit more of a personal one but it’s nice to keep things entertaining.

Let’s do another little ‘about me’ segment. A lot of the times, I feel so misunderstood, blamed and accused. Of what you ask? Oh, everything. By the people that you never thought you would in your life. Honestly, it’s like you expect them to have your back then they’re like actually no. It’s a pain that you never get used to so one thing I look in for my books is a solution to getting betrayed by the MMC – very few times is it the FMC. I’m the youngest and I believe that’s explanation enough as to why I take the brunt of it all.

The blog is authentically for me tailored to my likes and dislikes. I don’t typically buy all books I see scattered around the BookTok table at my Waterstones or doing it’s rounds on TikTok. If I buy it, it’s because I like the potential the plot has or the characters are different from what I’ve read before. Recycling lines in a series or in similar tropes gets both frustrating and old pretty quick. Whether I like to admit it or not, I am a picky ass reader which doesn’t consist of series like the Shatter Me series who has the infamous Aaron Warner in it. And you know what? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that either. Come to my page for book reviews if we have a similar taste palette or if you just want to support me but don’t expect to find everything that hits the market every day. One because, hello expensive and two because I’m not salivating over every romantic read. Inevitably some authors will always be an insta-buy for me whilst I will try newer ones to. I’ve done a post on the ones I won’t try and ones I didn’t love on my page so for more deets on that, deffo check it out.

On to the next. Found family. This is in a lot of the novels I read but my favourite has to be how it was portrayed by Icebreaker & Wildfire (Hannah Grace). #1 reason for moving to New York? To get the hell away from the family I have now. Especially the new additions. It’s time to pack, leave and never get back together. Like ever. Isn’t that right Taylor Swift? The idea that people who aren’t blood can be even more loyal than those who are supposedly supposed to have a thicker connection than water, is so comforting to me. Sense of familiarity, closeness and honesty is something I yearn for with all of my being. This is something I die to see in books. This is one of the reasons I related so much to Charlie from Charlie, Love & Cliches (Ella Maise) on such a deep level. She got used like a rag by her family to be the lackey for everything to go right and blamed when everything went wrong. Sigh. If only.

What else? Ambition. Hope. Aspirations. Seeing happy endings makes me believe in my own. I know. An obvious thing to want from paper pages but it really is every girls dream. Here’s the twists! It is not in the prince charming way (but it is), it’s also in the I proved everyone wrong despite them undermining me way. I’m struggling. Real hard to get a job in a normal job (whatever normal is these days) and even harder in this editorial bubble of mine. Harper Fiction, Simon & Schuster, Hachette (Little Brown Books) are all in my 5-year plan board. Who wants to see it?

Finally – this is the one I want most – a little family so detached from the one I didn’t have a say over. Like so far, that no one can reach me but I can reach them so all power is in my hands. That’s what I want. I want that ache in my chest, the constant ball of emotion in my throat, the never-ending tears lining my eyes and blurring my vision to leave. I’m dying for them to be replaced with excitement, longing and love. So, in books another thing I look for? For sure therapy sessions and a nice long talk with kicking anxiety good bye.

Let me tell you one thing – in your immediate family only two people really care about you know matter what they say, how they say it or how anyone else does; mother and father. Don’t even expect anything from any of your other family.

I’m not in the state of mind to read any paper pages at the minute, but I hope I am in the next couple of days. It’s been too long of me pushing everything back and not facing that I have. As hard as it is, something you need to embrace every anger, sadness and loss that comes to the surface of your heart.

Signing out from a Vivian, albeit a little melancholy.

Don’t forget to keep reading, because as long as you do, it’s making a struggling authors day that much better. Reach for the starts of success.

 

 

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